Vacationing with Baby

So, we just don't do it. I know other people do, and have a great time taking their 8 month old to Disney World, Six Flags, etc. I seem them all sweaty, pushing their giant stroller through Busch Gardens with their 128oz diet coke in the cup holder and I think "how are they going to get that thing on the Loch Ness Monster?" Not for us. Plus, Berkley thinks pine straw is hugely entertaining and is amazed by the cat next door. I don't think a schlep to Cedar Point is in the cards any time soon.

What we do shove him off to the grandparents. He loves it, they seem to love it, so in silly business speak: win-win. We have synergy.

Love you Berk, but you stay home while Mama and Daddy go lay on Caribbean Beaches. When you're older, get ready for summer camp.

Not THERE!

For the record, Courtney and Berkley were doing something in Greensboro today (spending money) and I was able to have lunch with them. Berkley sat in the high chair the entire time and played with puffs.

This post is about another food topic, baby-proofing the house.

If you've read much of this blog or Courtney's Blog, you can see we're not much into catering to Berkley. We try to keep in mind that he's here to compliment our lives. I realize some people have a child in order to provide for that child, make the world better, save the rain forest, win the Boston Marathon, whatever. We just wanted one child to enjoy and complete our family. It's Courtney and I first, Berkley second. Yeah, yeah, call us crazy.

Anyhow, let's keep this ranking in mind as we remember that Berkley is growing up and is quite mobile these days. He can walk around with his hands on furniture, crawl quickly, open and close doors, etc.

So, the baby-proofing has began, and yet here is another thing people don't know when they're day-dreaming about wonderful days in the park with their unborn child. So, here is a list of things you have to do in order to get your home ready for a child. I also decided to include whether we did it, or decided to go the hard knock route with Berk and let him learn the tough way.

1) All breakable things have to be moved out of baby reach. (partial success)
2) Electrical outlets have to be plugged. (We did a few of these. Others have plugs at times, and we figure his fingers are already too big to get in there. Everything he owns is plastic.)
3) Anything that will dissolve (like paper) has to be kept out of baby reach. Drool dissolves paper at 4 times the rate of water. (total failure, but we're improving. Berkley enjoys playing with the paper towel rolls. Sort of like a dog bone...)
4) Floor lamps, and anything that can be pulled over, like a table cloth, have to be secured. (did it)
5) Electronics are super attractive for babies. (we said screw it, he loves the radio/tv area and we encourage the interaction. We're also hoping he'll learn to work the surround sound unit, it's pretty tough to figure out.)
6) Dust must be vanquished every few days. Babies are natural dusters since they're always crawling around, but the dust bunnies that collect in corners, under the bed, etc are rough on the windpipe. (our house is for sell, so it's CLEAN)
7) No poison. So yeah, you have to clean all of the poison out of the places it lives. Like under the kitchen sink, etc. (failure)
8) No outside poison. If you spray weed killer, you have to have a map telling where is is until it rains later. (failure, we're learning fast on this one though)
9) No splinters. (we gave up in 5 seconds)
10) Nothing small in entire house baby could choke on. Since baby puts everything in mouth. (partial success)

This list could go on, literally, forever. But the point is that although we definitely put Berkley second as often as possible, as often as possible is about 3% of the time. A baby is an enormous amount of commitment and work. Your life, in no way, shape or form, belongs to you (or your accouterments) any more, until the baby goes to sleep, which makes 8pm a wonderful, wonderful time of night.

Out to Eat

Berkley has grown quite a bit lately and life is a bit easier. We are still quite the slaves to his nap schedule, but he's down to almost 2 good naps a day, so this means we have more flexibility to go out for longer periods of time.

So, when we're out we often get hungry and want to eat. So, we go to a restaurant. This is more difficult than advertised.

You'd think we could just grab a high chair, plop him in it, give him a toy and enjoy a meal. Ah, no.

Here are the issues with that little slice of utopia.
1) He doesn't like to sit in the chair for more than approximately 4 seconds.
2) Whatever he is playing with he throws on the floor every 10 seconds.
3) He is loud sometimes, and at 8 months doesn't quite get "shhh."
4) Sometimes he's getting towards nap time, and so he wants to be held.
5) Sometimes his teeth hurt, so he wants to be held, and whine.
6) Although he feels great and doesn't mind the chair, and hasn't dropped the toy, the salt, pepper, our food, and anything else that is not okay for him to play with is infinitely more interesting and he wants it.

So, when spending hard-earned money to go out and eat, there is a 7% chance we enjoy a meal, and a 940% chance one of us tends to him while the other eats, then the other gets their food boxed up to take home so he can take the next nap in today's schedule.

Daddy Day Care

Courtney had to go down to Charlotte to spend time with her mother and grandmother last night, so I came home from work and kept Berkley. (See previous post: "No More Weekends...)

Well, she took off Friday evening, and here's what happened.

I played with Berk for about an hour in the floor. We basically chewed on everything we could get our hands on.

Then 6pm rolled around, so I put Berk in the Baby Bjorn and we fixed some pears and prunes. The prunes were from Gerber Organics, but I had to actually cut up a pear, steam it in the Baby food cooking machine, blend them up, and feed them to him. It took about 10 minutes to eat those items up, so then we practiced drinking from a straw for a while. Not like sucking water through it, but rather me dipping a straw in a cup, putting my finger on the other end, and then letting it go when I get it on Berk's lips. He's a big, big fan. Cold water must feel good to his gums.

So after drinking 4% of the water presented and drooling the rest down his shirt, I changed his clothes and fed him a bottle. That went way fast, so it was 6:30 and he was still pretty awake, not quite ready to sleep. So I just put him in his crib and turned on the mobile.

The mobile is pretty high up there. But he's persistent, and he pulled himself up by the sides of the crib, got propped up on his knees, and caught the mobile dudes going around in circles and gave them hell. He's been after them for about 3 months, so I couldn't say no. Accomplishment feels so good I encouraged it.

Eventually he got whiny, so I put him in the sleep sack, rocked him a minute, and he was out. Night, done.

He slept from 7pm until 7:15 am.

After he went to sleep I came to a realization: there wasn't anything to do. And I was sort of stuck at the house. I couldn't exactly call up a buddy and go out for a beer! So, I had a few Sammy Smith beers right here on my couch and watched a guy movie. Terminator. Awesome.

Today, Berk and I went to Home Depot (or Lowes, same thing) and bought some roofing materials. He's a big hit in those types of places. I guess it's because he's a happy kid and makes eye contact with people.

All in all, it's been a successful 24 hours of Daddy Day care. Nobody died, so I feel like we're winners.

The End of Weekends

I presume most people look forward to the weekend. If nothing else, I know this from Facebook.

"TGIF!!"
"This has been the longest week. Bring on the weekend!"
"I wish it was Friday."
"Yaaaaaa for Friday."

And on and on. You can't go four Facebook status updates without seeing something about somebody's weekend.

But I've noticed that this isn't as prevalent among parents of young babies. And here's why. When you have a baby, there is no weekend.

While the week used to be filled with days of work, then the weekend was a time of projects, or rest, or socializing with friends, now the weekend is just another couple of days on the schedule.

If you're staying at home with a baby, obviously there's no difference in Tuesday and Saturday, except there's another person in the house. If you're working, the only difference is that you're at home, working for a baby rather than working at your M-F job.

Don't hear a complaint in this, it's part of the deal you must understand when you decide to have a baby. Your life is no longer yours. You have signed up to live and provide for another for several years, and their needs are going to come before yours even when you've had a crappy week, or got a babysitter and had a few drinks, or you're dead tired from sleeping just a few or no hours.

But know, if you have a baby, there are no more weekends, just a couple of days where you don't go to work but instead do baby things.

Let's Get Spontaneous

Last winter, when Courtney was slightly pregnant, I took a little trip with a couple of life long friends to see a Wake-NC State basketball game in Raleigh. They both have kids, and knew I was going to have my first. My buddy Tom says to me:
"You know, once you have that kid, there isn't going to be any more jump up and do... well anything."
Tom, is turns out, is a soothsayer.
And when you first have a baby, it's sort of a trick, because they sleep non-stop once they get good at sleeping. But then as the baby gets a little older, as in beyond two weeks, THE SCHEDULE begins to rule all.
And honestly, we're pretty "roll with it" parents. We're cool with Berkley sleeping wherever, or eating in the car, etc. But all in all, it's just nearly impossible to jump up and leave the house with a baby. It's a minimum of 30 minutes of planning and packing and diaper changing and feeding, and nap finishing and clothes changing and stroller folding and whatever else before you can actually walk out the door.
So be warned if you're considering having a kid. Unless you're going solo, don't get in a big hurry.

Babies Make You Fat

We're going to take a quick zoom forward to present day for me to mention that I have gained right at 25 pounds since Berkley was born.

And I'm not constipated or anything terrible like that, so I'm pretty sure it's fat. Courtney, on the other hand, has lost quite a bit of weight and size. Good on her.

I'd just like to mention that they don't sell men's pants at Babies R' Expensive, and this is about the only store new parents visit.

Seriously, 25 pounds. And I'm not big "what do I weigh?" kind of guy. I mean, whatever. As long as I closely resemble a Greek god while walking down the beaches of the Carribbean, I'm not concerned with my actual weight. But I went to put on a suit to head to work the other day, and it was one I literally bought a feew after Berk's birth. Pants no fit. And I mean NO FIT. Not even close. 2 inches from meeting in the button area. Wow.

So I found a scale, which isn't that easy because we don't have one at the house. But I searched, and found one near the office in the hospital, and yep, 202lbs. 202! I have never weighed over 200. 175 is about an average for the past 10 years.

Wow again. So I thought about life for the past 5 months. And it is three things. Mess around with baby is one thing. Sleep is one thing. Work is one thing. None of those mean keeping off extra weight, especially when you're eating lots of take out and food that is not prepared at home.

So, reality #90 that I was not prepared for when having a baby is that not only does Mom have to be careful about her diet to care for baby, and then lose the weight after, so does Dad. I'm on it. Headed out to the gym now.