Dear Berkley: I'm Sorry About Your Nose

Last night Berkley was tired when I came home from mountain biking about 7pm. He goes to bed about 7:30-8, so this makes sense, but he was especially tired and not so full of energy as normal.
Earlier in the day, he had skipped his afternoon nap, but instead laid on my chest watching football for about 20 minutes, while Courtney went grocery shopping. I could barely keep from crying because he's never hugged for that long, or been that still since he could... move.
So we got him in his sleep sack, and brought him into our bed. Then he just layed there on his back playing with two pacifiers while Courtney sang him songs. Again, he just laid there, so still.
While he was there on his back, I noticed how perfect the curves were from his forehead down to the bridge of his nose, and then around the tip and down to his lip. No bumps, no undulations, nothing. Perfect curves. Flawless skin.
I'm sorry son, but this will not last unless there was a mix-up at the hospital. Your mother and I both have big honkers, and mine looks like someone took a ball-peen hammer to it in my teenage years.
So, I suppose there is some super-remote chance you won't get our huge honkers, but likely you will grow one some day. We're sorry. Hopefully you'll be funny, or smart.