Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Dear Berkley: You Don't Have to Wear That

When Berkley was about 6 months Courtney bought him some leg warmers. And no, by leg warmers I do not mean pants. While 99.99954% of the free world just puts on pants when wanting to keep their legs warm, Courtney figured what Berkley really needed were literal leg warmers, as in tights, in ridiculously bright yellow and black stripes.

They were sort of cute, for a ballerina impersonating a bumblebee.

Those lasted one wearing and I had to make an executive decision. Now mind you, Steverino making a "this is how is has to go" statement is not normal in our household. We both embrace the "You're Probably Brighter Than I Am" concept the vast majority of the time and work it out together. In truth, she's a big brighter. But I can work a computer and unclog the toilet, so I stretch the mileage on those talents.

But not on my boy in ballerina tights. This is non-negotiable.

So I said they have to go. And bless Courtney's soul, she just gave a pouty look and we were done with it. No more tights for Mikhail until he can do a triple lutz, or chooses to put them on himself to woo the boy or girl next door, or show up at a Halloween party dressed as his mother's dream.

All that said, Courtney still dresses him pretty cute at times.

Cute = Girly.

Every day around Easter week he wears a shirt with a giant Easter Bunny and his name on it. In fact, now that I type this, I realize he has apparel with his name on it for each holiday. All super...cute. He's routinely in outfits I would wear if we belonged to a ritzy country club and I was going out for a round of golf of a tennis match. He's got multiple pairs of Toms and Crocs.

So son, my message to you is simple: you don't have to wear that. Come see Daddy and we'll dress you in your favorite outfit of all time, rain boots, striped whitey tighties, and a sweet orange pajama top with a picture of a tiger on it. That's not girly at all!

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