We Have A Layette! We Have a Layette!

Well, I think we have a layette. Honestly, I have no idea. I do know that last week we took a little trip after work over to BabiesR'Expensive and registered for a bunch of things. And I do mean a bunch. Two hours of my life are gone and I cannot have them back. I may actually be dumber after this experience. Hard to believe, I know.

We started off by going to the Baby Registry counter and getting all "set up." That's what the chubby lady behind the counter said she was gonna do: Get us all "set up." Getting set up takes no less than 30 minutes, 29.8 of which she's just steady talking. This is not my style. I do the talking, you do the listening Precious. She told us about everything in the store. Showed us magazines with pictures of things... that are in the store. She showed us how to work the bar code scanner. For five minutes. Seriously? Grocery store workers use these things, I think we've pretty much got it. Point, bleep, spend someone else's money.

Finally, I just got up and left mid-sentence. I couldn't take it anymore. I figures I'd go check out the cups with the baby names on them for inspiration. I'm now liking "Crystal" if it's a girl. I'm hoping everyone in school will call her "Charity" or "Tiffany" for short.

We finally wrestled the scanner/bleeper out of Precious' hands and went to work. We got: A little chair a baby can sit in, another chair that the baby lays in and stops crying, a chair a baby eats in, a chair a baby rides in in the car, a chair you push a baby around in, another one for pushing a baby around, and then finally we got a chair to bathe the baby in. Obviously having a baby requires a lot of chairs. I had no idea. Hopefully the baby will walk someday, but I'm doubting it will need to with all the chairs we're going to have.

We also registered for clothes. I think this is a layette. For a while I thought a layette was something french babies used to fight with. But now I understand I little better.... as long as a little better = zero. But either way, we bleeped lots of unisex clothes. Orange, blue, yellow, green, brown, BLACK AND GOLD. Later I found out we registered for mostly boy clothes. Come to find out girls clothes are all pink and frilly. Retarded. We won't be getting any of those, even if we do have a girl. If we wanted to have Nellie Oleson we'd just rent the DVDs.

When it was all said and done we closed the store down that night. My life is really changing. I'm going from closing Finnegan's Wake and Opera House down to closing down BabiesRExpensive. So be it.